Thanks to Things I’ve Learned About My Dad, I’ve received a few emails asking where people can buy my book. You can buy a copy on Lulu using this link. And, thanks.

~Gainful Employment

Every day I scour the ads looking for work. It’s my job to find a job, if you will. There aren’t many writing/project management openings in my area and it’s getting frustrating. I’m trying diligently not to let it get to my self-esteem, but there is nothing like spending hours saying, ‘Nope. Not me.’ to get your confidence lagging a bit. My ideal job would be something on a flexible schedule but at the moment I’m looking at every type of job there is from part-time to contract. I just want to be able to go to work every day and feel like I’m in the right spot doing the right thing. Where is that job?

~On The Kid Front

I’m worried about Devon. He’s probably being completely age appropriate and doing/being just what he should but I’m really worried about him for reasons that I can’t go into here and sorry to be so cryptic but it’s his story and not mine to tell so I have to keep it vague. Suffice it to say that I spend quite a bit of time worrying about him and hoping he’s making smart decisions while knowing that he’s not. But like I said - maybe it’s all age appropriate At his age I was having my second child so my life was quite a bit different than his is.

Alex seems to be in a good place at the moment. She’s confident and self-assured and getting her shit together. She’s beautiful as ever and sometimes I watch her face and think how incredible it is that she’s my daughter. She’s working on her resume for a class and she actually has quite a bit for a 17 year old to put on there. I enjoy spending time with her and am repeatedly amazed that I continue to be asked to go and do things with her. I’m very lucky.

Tyler is changing. His body is responding differently to food and exercise than he’s used to. It’s interesting to watch him have to pay attention to things he is used to ignoring. He’s still playing basketball in a travel league but really he’s just biding his time until football starts again. That is where his heart is. Ty is a thoughtful young man when no one is looking. When you ARE looking, he’s full of bravado and teasing. He still gives me hugs and for that I’m ever grateful.

Tony is perfectly 13 going on 14. His hair is long and covers most of his face. He peers out from tiny holes in the curls through his glasses and you have to look pretty hard to see him. He’s bordering on Emo status and his clothes style has changed. He’s finally found a style that he likes and it’s fun to see him care about his appearance. He’s got a group of friends he hangs out with and I like seeing him happy. Happy being Emo.

~The House

Besides the flooring in our new place, which is pretty terrible and cheap, I love our new home. The size is nice. The vibe is good. There are roses of every color in the front and a small backyard with lots of green. I love the deep kitchen sink that even the large pans can fit in. It’s always hard to fit your stuff into a new configuration and this time is no different. We still have boxes in some rooms and don’t know where to put the family games and the important papers but we’re getting there. Every day it feels better and better.

~Joe

Joe has been sick and miserable for days now. He’s coughing and snotty and feverish. It’s hard watching the people you love being ill and feeling helpless to do anything for them. We had one moment of short tempers flaring because it’s hard to not run into that when you aren’t feeling your best. In that moment it was interesting to see how far our communication has come from a few years ago. We mostly circumvented any lasting issues and got back on track in a fairly short amount of time. Good for us.

~Me

I’m getting off the Invega and Trazadone and staying on the Wellbutrin and Prozac. Coming off Invega has not been as bad as some others like Effexor. My mind is a little funky but I don’t get the major electrical charges running through it. Just a dull headache from time to time. I’m happy to be on less medication but not sad to be on what I’m staying on anymore. Every morning when I take my pills I think about how my day is going to be so much more productive and well-balanced because of them and it helps alleviate any qualms I have. The truth is that I’m so thankful to have a way to balance out my brain chemicals. Time spent wishing I didn’t have to take meds is time wasted.

Since my thyroid has been regulated I’ve been able to lose weight at a snail’s pace. Which is better than not at all but just barely. Each hard won pound off is cause for celebration. Historically I’ve loved the treadmill but this go around I’ve found the recumbent bike to be more my thing. I’m not as tired as I have been and I must admit that ever since I started taking the name brand Synthroid instead of the generic version I’ve seen an improvement. I still get erratic heart racing but it’s not as scary as it once was.

~Misc

I keep waiting for someone from Tara to call and need me. I hope it happens sooner rather than later. I can’t wait to be a part of it.

I haven’t been taking many photos and I miss it.

I can’t decide if I want to hang pictures in this house or if I like the blank wall space.

The bird doesn’t get out to fly in this house like he did in the old house. We need curtains to cover up the sliding glass doors so he won’t try to fly through and smack into them.

Heather’s book came out yesterday. I’m super proud to be a part of it.

You can buy a copy at your local bookstore or on Amazon.

We’re completely out of the old house. Turned the keys in and everything. I sincerely hope we don’t have to do any moving again for a long, long time.

The new house has a small deck built into the side yard. It’s all by itself and has a view if the neighbors would cut their tree down. I’m sure at one time the view was awesome.

Before we were even moved into the house, Devon claimed the deck. He has a hookah and likes to smoke with his friends a few nights a week. I used to smoke. At some times I smoked a lot. And it took me about 14 tries to really kick it. I still will have the occasional clove cigarette one or two times a year with friends but the day in and day out of smoking is gone and good riddance. It takes so much to be a dedicated smoker.

Anyway, I go back and forth over whether I’m being a good mom or not when it comes to the hookah. It’s fun to go outside and talk to Dev and his friends. I see him more now than I used to and when he moves out on his own in a few months, I’ll see him hardly at all since he’ll undoubtedly move the hookah to the new house. But am i reinforcing a bad habit? Am I telling him that I think smoking is good? I’ve even tried the hookah myself. Am I setting a bad example?

Devon is over 18 so in my mind, it’s his choice whether to smoke or not and I’m glad it’s not cigarettes. I’m glad it’s an occasional thing and legal as opposed to him and his friends drinking beers or something I’d have moral and ethical qualms about. But, I still worry. Knowing what we know about lung cancer it seems wrong to facilitate and/or participate. Except I don’t really feel bad about it. And it sure is nice having him around.