Words Overheard: Airport Conversation
Three men, British accents, standing in line in front of me and waiting to check into the flight, speaking with much more passion and exuberance than my day calls for:
1: “No way! No one’s done what we have. No one!”
2: “I’d like to see them put themselves in that situation and survive!”
3: “You think it’s all that impressive, do you? That’s a little sad, really.”
1: “I don’t need this! (pause) You’ve obviously already forgotten Saturday, pallie.”
Same gentlemen in the airport eatery. It’s 7:45p and the only open seat is next to them on the long booth going along one wall. The table doesn’t move but I try to inch it closer to me anyway. My plane has been delayed indefinitely. I’m hungry and would like a beer. The waitress smiles at me and motions that she will come right over as she makes a path next to me and goes to a different table. Three times. By the time I order my nachos and get my beer, I’m getting a slight headache from the din. All these people with the intention to leave shortly yet stuck in place for the unforeseeable future. They are chatty, tired, on edge and colorful.
I lay my head back and decide to relax. Seven seconds later, realizing that relaxation is far, far away from my grasp, I get out my notebook and start to jot. On my left I hear
1: “…..if I can get her to fall in love with me.”
2: “She’ll see right through you.”
3: “Don’t you think you are too gay for that?”
1: “Only if I am really gay. (somber pause while they all take a drink) Am I gay?”
2: “Don’t say that too loud. I think you’ll spook our neighbor there. You sound lovelorn.”
3: “She’s writing furiously. She must be a restaurant reviewer.”
2: “Or is that a picture she’s drawing? Look, Pete, I think it’s you.”
1: “That’s a drawing of a Gothic square. Are you daft?”
Me: “I’m just doodling. It’s nothing, really. What I should draw are some nachos. I’m starving.” 8:35p and still no food.
3: “Yes. I noticed you had nothing in front of you. I would have offered some of our nachos but they seem to have disappeared.”
2: “I believe they are on the inside of Pete right this very second and wishing they could find a way out.”
Me: “Well, I think they will find a way out eventually.”
1: (hoot of laughter) “Now that is a charming thing to say to somebody!”
3: “And here I thought you were a restaurant reviewer! But you couldn’t be with that kind of cheeky mouth!”
2: “But really, what would a reviewer be doing in this place? This place called ‘The Home of the Haut Dog’ what with it being in the airport and all?”
1: “Well, I might have shared my chili but it’s too late now as well.”
3: “But not me bratwurst. No.” (shaking his head)
2: “Shall we motion the waitress for you and ask her what for?”
3: “Must you call her over here again? She sounds positively shocking. Like Jar Jar Binks!”
1: “Yes. Do you think you could be a dear and not want your food now? We’d like it much better to leave without the pleasure of her voice again.
Me: “Well, that’s nice! Here you’ve just finished your food without sharing and then ask me to not have mine because the waitress sounds like a science fiction character!”
2: “Yes, but Jar Jar Binks is a really horrendous character.”
3: “Yes. Everyone thinks so. In fact we call America the Land of Freedom Including the Right to Create a Terrible Movie Character.”
Bursting Like the 4th of July
On Tuesday night I had my first bursting cyst. I’m hoping I don’t have to go through that too many more times. The pain is right up there near the top of My Top 10 List of Most Painful Experiences.
This is a great read by Paul Ford which captures some of my own feelings about the past few weeks and our government’s ineptitude.
Also, thank you for all your well wishes. Sorry if I don’t write you back right away but please know I do so appreciate them.
PCOS Update
I have the results back from the internal ultrasound. The ultrasound, by the way, was one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever done. I think the woman that did it was angry at my vagina. Or she was angry at someone else’s and took it out on mine. In any case, she created some kind of paper-cut feeling throughout the inside which was very painful for a few days. The cover she used on the wand was made out of some crinkly plastic, kind of like what a shower cap is made out of. It had a seam all the way around the edges which she used to torture me with. I found out later that they usually use a condom on the wand. What’s up with that? A condom would have been a great choice!
Anyway, the more important part of the story is that the results show that the largest cysts are just under an inch and fluid filled. None are dense looking and will not need to be checked out for cancer. I just have to wait and see if my body will reabsorb them or if they will burst. It’s a fun game, yes? I didn’t know I was so worried about it. But after saying out loud to Joe for the 40th time, “The cysts are fluid filled,” I guessed I must have been more worried than I let myself know.
So, from here on out it’s no beer for me, getting more than adequate sleep, never eating protein or carbs unless they are together and always exercising first thing in the morning before eating anything. And by the time 6 months rolls around, I’ll be feeling much better, I can tell already. Everything that happens in life is a blessing somehow and it’s our job to figure out how. I’m still working this one out. I can’t quite see it yet but I know it’s in there somewhere.
Joe has been incredibly supportive. He has been sweet and understanding and comforting. Everything a great partner should be. I really struggle with feeling inadequate since I’m not exactly holding up my end of the load here. He’s got a lot of extra pressure to make more money since I’m working less hours at work for the next few months. And through it all, he keeps calling me baby and scratches my back at night before I fall asleep. He tells me I’m beautiful after I’ve been crying for 5 hours straight from the pain. He strokes my hair and tells me what a great job I’m doing taking care of myself. I think I’m falling in love with my husband all over again.
GoFugYourself and Katrina
Go Fug Yourself has the most comprehensive list of ways to help Katrina victims that I’ve seen anywhere.
Joe also has quite a few.
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, PCOS
The past few months have been really challenging for me. I got really ill and over the course of the many doctor visits and tests that were run I realized that it’s been almost 2 years since I really listened to what my body was telling me. Rather, I’ve just learned to live with the variety of symptoms I was having and pressed on. I was engaged, trying to figure out how to move close to the kids, didn’t have health care, then getting married, moving, working….
I had 2 miscarriages in about a year. I have had ongoing pain in my right chest and ribs. It’s at the point that I can’t even sleep on my right side and Joe can’t put his arm around me because the pain was so much at night. And tired. Holy Moley tired. I’ve had a heck of a time losing weight and I feel dizzy and disoriented sometimes after I eat. I had blood tests done but they didn’t show I had diabetes. And I started to think I was just falling apart. So I ignored everything since I couldn’t solve it. So, after a year or so, I went back to the doctor. The result of the last batch of tests is that I have two major things going on.
First, I have scar tissue on the lower third of my right lung. This creates a dynamic of not letting my lung work too hard and taking very strong anti-inflammatory drugs and hopefully in about 6 months that problem will be mostly gone although it might never really go all the way away.
Second, I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, also known as Stein-Leventhal syndrome. With PCOS, I have cysts all over my ovaries which may or may not be cancerous. I have a much higher chance of getting Type 2 Diabetes, heart disease, being infertile as well as having cancer in the uterus or breast. PCOS is incurable but can be controlled through diet, medication and lifestyle.
Strangely, since finding out what the problem is, I have had strong sense of calm and being centered. Joe has been such a help and support to me. I have hope to control the imbalance that has been so prevalent the past year or so. And although there are things that are uncertain like if the cysts are cancerous, I feel very empowered. PCOS is inherited and will be passed to my kids. My daughter in particular has a very high chance of seeing this syndrome fully manifested if she isn’t careful starting right away since she has hit puberty. My boys have the chance of going bald early, which is pretty much the only way it shows up in boys, and I see that already with Devon who is 16.
There is some information out there if you know where to look. One of my favorite sites is this one: www.pcos-support.org . These are also good: www.soulcysters.net
www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com
www.4woman.gov
Tally Ho.
