Ask Leahpeah

leahpeah peehead,

why are you such a retard? so dumb? is there anyway i can rtell you how much I think you are dumb? you’re paintings are wierd and you odviouslly have nop talent. There are way better writings on the internet than you and if you think you are going to have lots of people like you you are wrong. you should go back to having more kids like when you were mormon. I hear those women know there places and listen to their husbands and do right in the sight of god. So being a mormon is almost as good as being a good Christian. you are most likely going to hell and you don’t care now but you will someday att sometime. I’ll go the one step further and see if i can ask god to let you in to heaven when it’s that time becuase that is what a good christian person will do. !!

if you want to see my online blog, it is here [redacted] [redacted]

Dearest Reader,

Thank you so much for writing me. I do so look forward to seeing who takes time out of their day to drop me a kind note or a quick hello. I think you should know, though, that I have a certain way of reading letters that may not be what you had in mind. You see, I am a perpetual Pollyanna type and can only read the good and kind. Please let me show you how I read your letter:

Dear leahpeah peehead, < - I’ve kept this salutation intact because I really like it. Why are you so wonderful? So awesome? Is there anyway I can tell you how much I really think you are great? Your paintings are deep and you obviously have great talent. There are other people that write on the Internet but none are just like you. I think you are going to have lots of people liking you. You have 4 kids? I’ve never had any because the state had to neuter me due to my inability to deal with reality. It comes and goes. I hear those Mormon women know how to make crafts, take care of their kids and husbands and do right in the sight of God. So, being a Mormon is the same as being a good Christian. You are most likely going to be invited to many parties this Christmas Season. I hope you don’t get overwhelmed or burned out. I’ll go one step further and invite you to my own festive occasion because having you come to my party would mean so much to me. God be with you, [redacted]

And also with you.
xo,
lp