I’ve started obsessing about things that I think shouldn’t be in my mind for another few years like how my knees are doing and my schedule of flossing. I mean seriously, I don’t want to live the rest of my life worried that if I chew wrong on my right molars that the cap will fall off and I don’t want to NOT chew on that side so much that my left side teeth get too worn down prematurely so I think about every bite I take and weigh the options carefully. And sometimes the meal just isn’t worth it, man.
My top lady parts have taken a decided sag southward and I have to keep special attention whenever I sneeze to make sure I don’t have to change my underwear. Aren’t these the things a 50-something should be worried about? I realize I’m on the far side of 30 but c’mon. I wasn’t quite ready yet.