Two Links
I wrote a post for Work it, Mom!. How To Keep Close Ties With Teens and Tweens
BlogHer contributor SJ wrote a piece about The United States of Tara exploring reactions to the show and DID.
Eavesdropper #1
“I gave up on climbing the corporate ladder with hard work. I just want to get laid now. I’m ready to sleep my way to the top.” he said, leaning back in the red velvet covered, 18th century replica Wing Back and crossing his legs, slowly, foot dangling and wagging ever so slightly.
She looked across the table at him, amazed at his obvious swagger, and thinking she would never say such a thing. Especially so loud and in public. It seemed like a statement best whispered. In the dark. Maybe in a closet and to no one.
“I’ve stumped you, have I?” He chuckled and made a movement to grab his Pal Malls from his jacket pocket, realizing a little too late that they weren’t there. He had quit, again, two days ago after promising his girlfriend to ‘participate in saving his own life.’ He then clicked open his briefcase and found the emergency pack he had tucked in the bottom. Only three left. Lighting up, he coolly looked her up and down. Exhaling a smooth white ribbon he said, “Listen. I’m not going to climb across the table and jump you right here. I just want you to know the option is there. You have something I want and I’m willing to pay you for it.”
The air made its way slowly through a small O her lips had made. A tiny, quiet whistle escaped and mingled with his smoke. Embarrassed, her cheeks and neck warmed and she looked down at her hands folded neatly in her lap. She smoothed the wrinkles in her skirt across her knees and wiped off some of the sweat accumulating in her palms under his scrutiny.
She remembered the time she had driven in the silver convertible with the love of her life to the top of the lookout. Trees covering them overhead, leaves making their dancing way to the damp earth and a breeze blowing, at one point so hard she lost her scarf. The one with the tiny blue flowers and made from fancy silk. The one her love had given her. She had cried out and grabbed for it, just a little too late, but he had laughed and kissed her and told her not to worry, he would get her a new one. It had been almost 8 years now since he’d left her. She hated cancer.
Clearing his throat, he said, “I just notice you’re always alone. I’ve never seen you with anyone the entire time I’ve been with the firm.” Leaning forward and looking at her, just inches from her, he reached out one hand, slowly, carefully, and set it next to hers on the table, just grazing a finger.
She left her hand where it was and contemplated the tingle she felt shoot up her arm. Then she thought about her scarf with the tiny blue flowers. She smiled at him, meeting his eyes and putting on her piercing look. The look she’d practiced for years in the mirror. The look she used with problem clients in her office and with colleagues intent on taking more than they gave. The look she would never, ever use on her daughter. “I thank you for your kind proposition.” she offered, “And I’d love to pick up the tab for our drinks.” She said nothing else and made no move forward or back.
He felt confused after a few minutes had passed, uncomfortable, and leaned back a bit, removing his hand and straightening up in his chair. “Thanks.” He raised his eyebrows almost imperceptibly, but she saw it. She noted the unsure look in his eyes and smiled a bit bigger, showing a few more teeth.
Editor’s note – This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to anyone you know is purely coincidental and kind of cool.
Shrine
There is this table in the kitchen that we never use for eating and while I was unpacking boxes and organizing everything in the kitchen and art room, I kept placing all my favorite things together, collecting them on that table.
After all the rest of the house was done, I looked around and didn’t really see a great place to put all this important (to me) stuff so I just kind of lined things up in rows. Then the next day, I leaned the larger stuff against the wall. And I just kept moving stuff and arranging little by little until one day, I walked in the kitchen and there was this shrine sitting there, showcasing all my favorite family and friend things.
I keep looking at it and wondering what I’m doing with it there, covering a perfectly good table that someone could be using for, I don’t know, a puzzle? Or a holiday craft of some kind? But they can’t because I’ve carefully placed all my stuff on it, arranged just so. And if someone so much as looks at it sideways, my heart starts to race and my neck turns red and my hands kind of fist and un-fist. Because – Hey! That’s my stuff! All over the table! Including a blanket! And a plate of green glass! So don’t even think of eating there. Or, using it like a table….oh, man, I feel like a dork.
But I can’t seem to take it down, so, if you’re in the neighborhood, feel free to come over and check out the shrine I built in the kitchen eating area. But don’t want to sit there and eat. And don’t look at it sideways.
Detailed notes when you click through to Flickr.
Yellow Circles
I was completely obsessed with yellow circles for a few days and the result was somewhere around two hundred 2″ circles of varying colors of yellow that I strung up to be a some-kind-of mobile or chandelier or hangy-down-from-the-ceiling thingy.
I was wondering what to do with it and then Diablo Cody climbed on a chair and put it on a hook for me. And I love it right there hanging from the living room ceiling.
My Daughter Will Kill Me
Every year, Alex and I try to get away for a weekend with my sister and her daughters where we can all be on our periods at the same time. Good times. This past October’s trip got pushed a few months into 2009.
We flew up last weekend to Rhoda’s and then drove up to the Bavarian themed town of Leavenworth and the Enzian Inn. Our favorite part of staying at the Enzian is the Alphorn player – the cutest little dude you’ve ever seen.
It was a really fun weekend, mostly because I got to hang out with Alex. I love hanging out with Alex. We talk, talk, talk about hair and boyfriends/husbands and then do our nails. We eat chocolate and trade paperback books and watch all the chick flicks a person can handle and talk about our leading men crushes. (Her – James Marsden, Me – Mark Ruffalo (who, incidentally, looks a lot like Joe) ) We do all the important girl stuff and I eat up every moment of it. It’s always a little bittersweet because I realize we are so close and have so much fun as ‘friends’ because she doesn’t see me so much as a ‘mom,’ but I take what I can get.
At some point during day 2, after much talking, movie watching, jewelry making and lying around in our sweats, we all got a little slap-happy and the result is this photo of Alex that she will kill me for posting, but absolutely, positively must put here for all to see. Alex – I’m sorry. But I love you and even the chicken glasses do not diminish your beauty. This pose is divine and when you are done yelling at me, I’ll get out the nail polish and do your toes.
It's Not Always About You (Me)
Dear Me,
I know you’ve spent many years perfecting your sick and crazy-making thinking patterns. I know you come by it honestly and that it’s hard for you to stop and think things through sometimes. I get it.
But, maybe now is a good time to talk about some things currently happening that you might be fooled into thinking are about you. For example -
1. When your husband comes home, tired and a little cranky, it is because he had a really long day at work and then a two hour commute in traffic. It’s not because you didn’t fold his Tshirts the ‘right’ way or do the dishes by five or because you look ugly. It’s not about you.
2. When you run out of milk over night and there is none for cereal in the morning, it’s because PEOPLE DRINK IT and then it goes away. See how that works? It’s not because you are a terrible wife/mother. Also? Other people are perfectly able to purchase milk and bring it home. You are not the only one that has, you know, arms and legs.
3. When you hear that friends in another state got together and you weren’t invited, it’s probably because you don’t live on the east coast in the same city as them. It’s not because you suck and they hate you and think you’re ugly and stupid. Seriously. It’s not about you. Feel free to make your own friend get-togethers where you live. (I did! Yay for me!)
4. When someone you are very close to, that you love immensely, that you would die for, tells you something about a horrifying experience that happened a few years ago, they are upset because of what happened to them. They are not mad at you. They are not telling you it is your fault. They aren’t even asking you to fix it. Seriously, can you think of anything more self-centered than taking someone’s hellish situation and making it all about you? No, you can’t. So, sit there and listen and empathize and bear witness to the horror and love them as much as you can. Don’t turn it on yourself make it an excuse to self-medicate or self-harm. Be smart and strong. It’s not about you.
5. When the weather turns ugly and it rains and stays cloudy for days, it is not because the entire universe is conspiring to keep you down. It’s because that is WHAT WEATHER DOES sometimes. So, throw on a sweater and your comfy slippers with a good cup of coffee and try to enjoy a little snuggle time.
I hope this has been helpful and that you keep it close by in case you need an easy reference sheet for upcoming situations. I have faith in you. I believe you can do it.
Lots of love,
Me
PS. You aren’t ugly and stupid. Next time we’ll discuss how negative thinking can influence your day.
Muldoons 2009 (aka Mini-TequilaCon)
I don’t get out often. I don’t always do well in social situations. I tend to avoid events where I’m going to meet new people because I’m afraid they won’t like me. I might do something stupid. Talk too much. Have a booger hangin’ out mah nostril. Or my forehead might get too glisteny. Oh, I don’t know. Be too much……..like myself.
