Now Shhhh

“Now shhhhhhhh,” she says, “you’ve said it all once and now you’re repeating yourself. It’s time to listen to someone with some age on her bones.”

I tried to stop the pointless murmuring coming from my lips and tune into her voice. The phone was slippery against my wet cheek and I pushed it closer to block out the sound of my brain.

“Now, you listen to me. Life is hard. It’s hard for everyone and if it wasn’t this it would be something else. The trick is to be thankful for your own set of troubles because believe you me, you don’t want someone else’. Yes, you’ve got it hard and I know it. Your mother knows it. And I get so mad when I think of all the things we need answers for that we don’t have here on this earth.”

“But, Gramma, how come you can call me on the phone? You aren’t alive.” I held my breath and waited for her answer.

“Don’t worry about that. The important thing is that you can hear me. So, listen up. Now, I know God has a plan and He loves you very much. You are a strong and beautiful person and a treasure to me, Grandpa, your parents, your family – even those that have gone on before.”

“But, Gramma, I don’t believe in all that church stuff. I don’t believe there is some plan. I have no idea what happens when we die but I don’t think it’s that churchy stuff.”

“You can go on thinking whatever you want. And I’ll keep telling you what the truth is. Now, here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to look in the mirror and tell yourself that your Grandma loves you more than you’ll ever know. Next you’ll tell yourself that your Grandma knows you can do whatever it is you have to do. And that you’re strong. And special. I know! You don’t believe it about yourself but you DO believe that your Grandma does. So, you just keep repeating that. Your Grandma knows and she loves you. And I can’t touch you right now but you better believe that if I could I’d be squeezing the stuffing out of you. And that will have to do.”

And then I woke up.

12 Responses

  1. Ok – I’ve had a few of these dreams. I’m in a house and I get a call on an old heavy black phone. It’s always some kind of message. I fully and truly believe that this is a conversation from beyond. Treasure the awesome words your Grandma has for you! How great that she got through.

  2. Wow. Gramma is fierce. This is the most amazing thing I’ve read.

    I have these dreams that my grandmas come back. It was all a terrible mistake and they aren’t really dead. I just want them back.

    Listen to Grandma, Leah. She knows what’s up.

  3. Simply put, death is the temporary separation of your soul (mind, will, and emotions) and spirit from your body. Death means separation. Just like we are separated from God and heaven right now — it’s a form of spiritual “death” or separation.

    There is a plan, Leah. God isn’t about a brick and mortar church, nor the rituals and traditions of religion created by man. Anything man devises falls short of what God intended. It’s just the way it is at this time — the world is broken — it and everything in it is separated from God (and running amok!)

    Most churches have unfortunately missed the mark of God’s message. Listen to your beautiful Gramma, Leah — God has a plan. Don’t just believe in God, but believe God. He didn’t create magnificent you just for it all the end one day. Zap, it’s over … are you kidding me?? Look at how amazing you are: your soul, your spirit, your physical self. 3 entities creating someone above all things in God’s universe.

    Well, I probably appear to be a kook now. I don’t care. Just like your Gramma, I’ll keep telling the truth. God has a plan to end the separation and return man & things to what he had originally intended.

    Ok, that’s my best shot. I’m only human. I’m hitting submit now. Not going to edit this. I’m really hitting submit …

  4. Your gramma rocks it, Leah.
    After my 2nd son (the one who is still alive) was born, I had a dream about my grandad. He came to see my baby and peered at him closely, then said gruffly, “So, you named him after me, didja? I always HATED that NAME!”
    I was surprised, needles to say. I told my brother about the grandad dream and he said, “Sis, that was no dream. That WAS grandad!”

    (that one still makes me snort)

  5. I believe in this too. Not the churchy stuff either, but this, this is Real.
    Love to you honey, you ARE loved, just as you are.

  6. Wow. What an amazing gift to be able to hear your grandma’s voice again…to have the opportunity to heed her advice. Beautiful.

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