new tat

Today I got a new tattoo. I drew it and my girlfriend April put it on my upper right arm. She’s an awesome artist who also tattoos. Soon you’ll be able to view her work from my sight. I’ll include a link when it happens.

Learned something about honesty and forthrightness…..you can’t have that kind of relationship unless you both do it. One person making that effort just won’t cut it. It’s got to be a two way street.

Keeping my fingers crossed for a loft I went and looked at today. For some reason I picture a loft being up on the top of a building but apparently, it can be on the ground level, too, which this one is. But the space is SO me. If it doesn’t work out I’m sure I’ll find something else, but I really liked this place.

Missing my kids something fierce today.

Starting my new job in the morning. Going to wear my power shirt….red. Maybe. Or maybe the white….

quick recap for the kids:
new tat, yes it hurt like crap, love it, no you can’t have one till you hit age 21, honesty is a two way street, want the loft, love the loft space, miss you guys a WHILE BUNCH, no idea what to wear my first day on the new job. LOVE YOU TONS!!!
mom

At my friend's house today in LA.

At my friend’s house today in LA. I’ve missed her. She’s a fellow artist and her work is so powerful! In fact, I’m using one of her pieces as the front cover picture on my book. And I’m trying to figure out how to include a few more of them somewhere inside the book. She doesn’t have a website yet, but one is in the works.

We went to a store called Walser’s and it is hands down the best art store I’ve been to in a long time. I’m like a kid in the candy store when I walk down in between the paper and colors…..i get these huge urges to buy one of everything.

It’s great to see old friends. I haven’t seen her in about a year but she’s one of those that you don’t have to see all the time even though you’d like to and you catch up in a few minutes and it’s like you saw them yesterday.

I start my job on Monday. I know I can do this real life thing.
My book proposal is almost finished and I have a few leads on publishers. I’m getting excited about it being finished. Finally.
I’m working on two seperate screen plays at the same time. It keeps life interesting.
And I like to drive even though my possesed car plays so many tricks on me. That concludes the thoughts for today pretty much.

quick recap for the kids: playing over at my friends house today, went to a killer art store where you know mom spent way too much money, nervous about new job on monday, still writing down all my weird thoughts and trying to make sense out of them, haven’t let the car win yet!
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My kids told me that they don't see me enough…

So.

My kids told me that they don’t see me enough and wanted an update more often…hence the BLOG. Generally, I’m not someone who might type my life for the view of my children, let alone strangers. But, here I am. Typing. I found a job. I know, you’re all relieved to hear it. I know I am to have found it. It awaits to be seen, however, if it lives up to all it’s claims. The job has attached to it more hopes than I would have thought possible. The job makes it possible to finally move into the loft. The job will help me to buy my camera equipment back. And to have Christmas with my kids at my place this year. And to maybe get rid of my demon car. (I’ll explain about my possessed vehicle another time.)And to put some money in savings. And….and….and….. I hope the job can take all the pressure.

I’m finding it hard to be a real adult. I have to have a real job and have adult problems with money and people etc. I like it. I’m not used to it and maybe I never will be but I still like it.

Being divorced has it’s down side, like not having a date every weekend, whether you wanted one or not, to take you to Aunt Bertha’s barbecue or someone to blame for everything that made your day crappy or to take out the trash for you or to yell at when they don’t take out the trash for you….but it definitely has it’s up side like getting to spend 4 hours in the bookstore without feeling like you’re putting someone out and not buying ice cream because you just don’t feel like it and no one has a coronary.

But sometimes you can feel lonely and unsupported and FRAGILE.

I have a boyfriend. And yes, he picks his nose just like every other boyfriend out there. And no, I don’t find it charming or cute even though we are still technically in the honeymoon stage of the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

But he does something that no one has ever done for me in my life before. He genuinely cares about how I feel and actually asks me quite frequently how I’m doing. I found it fascinating at first. In a specimen-under-the-glass kind of way. I wasn’t sure how to respond. But I’ve moved past that now and just enjoy the feeling of being cared for in this small way that seems huge to me now. I’m sure before long I’ll take it for granted and start picking my nose in front of him, too.

So. To my kids (who won’t want to wade through the long version):

quick recap i’m now blogging against my nature, hope you enjoy, found a job, hope i don’t die from it’s disappointment, glad i’m divorced, have a boyfriend, we both pick our nose, one out in the open and the other still in private, and he makes me feel special.

and i miss you tons. and i love you more than that. and…and…and…..

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