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To The Family Tribe of the Other

Hi. If you read that long epistle I wrote and got really irritated and bugged and kept rolling your eyes or thought things like, “it’s not that bad,” or “she’s exaggerating and it’s disgusting,” or “we’re not like that at all,” then rest assured it was not for you! Congratulations! You are not the Other in your family. Your knee-jerk reactions of anger, frustration, disgust, and fear are totally normal. It’s ok to feel threatened. It’s tribal. Let me just assure you that I’m not trying to make you do anything. I know how deep your feelings of protecting your…

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The Harm of Othering

(Are you a Person of Color? You will see the * periodically throughout this piece. Please know as you read I am talking about family dynamics and not systemic racism, which is a completely different kettle of fish.) I’ve been thinking about you. And about me because I am you. And about how all of us fit together in this Earth Experience, this thing called, (as Prince said), Life. I don’t love labels so I try to avoid them, but sometimes they are helpful when you’re trying to get down to the nitty-gritty and see what’s what. There are other…

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Being Yourself

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be yourself, to own who you are, since I wrote my last post. I’ve heard from several people who have asked some variation of, “Yes, but *how* do I start being who I want to be and not who I’ve been acting like?” I don’t know that I have the magic answer, but I do have some ideas to share, as I sit here on the couch in my yoga pants and slippers, unshowered as of yet at 11am on a Wednesday. Maybe it’s time to sit with being uncomfortable.…

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Beautiful Souls

In 2014, photographer Katie Gardner took some photos for me at Blogher for a project that never materialized. Our intent was to put together a book, but the resources to put that book together never showed up no matter how hard we tapped the Universe’s shoulder. We saved the most beautiful photos of these women for this non-existent book and I think of them often, wishing they were being seen. If you want to think of this as a Mother’s Day thing, fine. Some of them are mothers. Some of them have mothers. But I’d rather think of them as…

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Your Body Is Not Your Enemy

Let me set the scene for you. We’re sitting on the couch, my husband and I, my nose buried in his shoulder. I’m weeping, beside myself with a ball of grief and failure burning through my chest like fire, wiping snot on his arm, making noises that are approximations of words, but no one can know for sure. I have auto-immune issues that after several years of being in remission have reared their ugly head starting sometime last December and have now flared with the vengeance of a fifteen-year-old girl who lost her cellphone privileges and is punishing her parents.…

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Oh, Fall, You Cruel Mistress

I love this time of year, I said, in super serious sincerity. Jeans. Boots. Chunky sweaters. (HAHAHAHAHAhahahaha just kidding. It hasn’t been lower than 75 and it’s going to be 93 on Friday.) Hot drinks make more sense (because I drink them even in the sweltering heat of summer). Less people at the beach, which leaves more room to enjoy the gorgeous sunsets. The promise of holidays around the corner and the chance to see family. Things feel, I don’t know, more cozy. And then it all starts to tilt sideways. The first thing that happens is my mind starts…

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Heal Something Good – 2015 Edition This Fall!

I’m super excited to announce that an updated edition of my book, Heal Something Good, will be coming this fall! It holds new research, new material, and new tips. The one down side to this is that when the current version of my book is taken down from Amazon and Lulu, I’ll lose the sales standing and reviews. To encourage reviews (and ultimately sales) of the new edition, we’re offering a free pdf of Heal Something Good to anyone who is willing to leave a review on either Amazon or Lulu when the new version comes out. And for those…

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Releasing Grief

I’ve had my fair share of grief over the years and when you have a real conversation with just about anyone, you realize they, too, have had theirs. We live on the surface so much of the time, nodding our heads hello and nice to see you, which is to be expected when we’re all surviving with our heads just above the surface. I’ve learned that to release grief and move beyond it, you truly have to feel it. That can be scary. It can feel like you’re probably going to die. There are usually a lot of tears involved…

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My Tribe of Highly Sensitive People

I had the experience the other day of being in a room full of people who are similar to me in many ways. It’s a new feeling for me to be in a group I truly identify with. This is happening to me more and more as I seek to spend my time doing only the things that are important to me. I keep letting go of activities (and sometimes people) that keep me from thinking and feeling actively though life. I don’t want to be numb anymore. Life’s too short to waste and I only want to spend wisely.…

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Let’s Grow Through This Together

Sometimes I feel like I learn new things right before I really need them. You know what I mean? Like, had this challenging thing that’s currently happening, happened even six months ago, I wouldn’t have been ready. But God, or whatever you consider your Divine to be, creates this space for us to gather our knowledge and our wits about us right before the Big Test comes. If we’re paying attention. If we’re *at all* trying. And I’d wager that most of us *are* trying because we’ve been around the block a time or two and know that not paying…

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Announcing Printed Cards and More!

I’ve been making some watercolor & ink art. You can get greeting cards, prints, tote-bags and throw pillows here. Some of the original works are still available, too. If you want one of those, email me.

Reclaiming The Divine

Like many people, I was raised in a religious home. And like many people, I then grew up, made choices for myself, and decided I didn’t want to be a part of that religion any longer. This story is not unique by any means. A byproduct of growing up in a highly religious environment is that it can feel too confining as you’re growing older and testing your limits. You can’t wait to get away from it, shedding it like a too-small winter coat. I’ve spent the last 20-ish years floating somewhere in between agnostic and Crunchy-Universal-Love-Hippie on the spirituality…

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Random Piecings + My Basic Green Smoothie Recipe

Here’s some clouds from Southern Utah. You’re welcome. That place is incredibly beautiful. I mean: I joke with Joe that we should go live there and by “joke” I mean “semi-serious” and by “semi-serious” I mean how about in two years or so. Poor Joe. I think part of my joke-not-joking is that we had such an incredible time doing the retreat there a few weeks ago. The entire event was just amazing. I really felt so, oh, I don’t know the right words, it was so big what I felt. But some good words are Useful and On Task…

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Storyteller: Kim Zoot Homes aka Miss Zoot

1. I started “themed” blogs that all died shortly after their inception between the years 2000 and 2003. One was dedicated to the show Temptation Island…I have no idea why I didn’t stick with that one. In 2003 I stumbled upon a few writers who were blogging about their struggles having children and I decided in January 2004 to just try a personal blog, one with no theme, but where I could also chronicle my own struggles to conceive. I gave my blog a name using my own online alias (Zoot) on the Typepad platform. Once I gave up trying…

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