leahpeah

:: flawed but authentic ::

Here is what it looked like when we went to go get Joe from the airport on Friday night.

Here is what it looked like the next morning.

We drove home all day Sunday. I was a little worried about the weather but as we approached Southern Utah, I relaxed and the snow disappeared. I don’t like driving in the snow. I don’t like anyone else driving me in the snow. I tend to get white-knuckled and spend a lot of time perched on the edge of the seat, eyes opened slightly too wide and asking inane questions like, ‘You doing alright? Are we almost there? Was that a skid? Are those people going to hit us? Are you doing alright?’ I’m surprised Heather didn’t slap me a little or send me to the back seat to sit with Chuck the night she drove me to go pick up Joe from the airport. Instead she just kept smiling, patting my arm and telling me that everything was going to be fine.

One of the highlights of the trip was getting to play with Leta. It’s not often I get invited into the world of a 3.5 year old and I soaked it up. Too bad I was so easily replaced. Right after Joe got there, he was invited to play circus and be the official Ariel DVD watcher with her. Oh, the fickle heart. I was crushed for a minute but watching Joe play with Leta was almost as fun as playing with her myself.

At one point, Leta grabbed her tape recorder and a tape to show off her dancing. Imagine my surprise when the tape turned out to be ‘Show A Little Love‘ by Janene Brady, featuring songs like Maybe You Laughed and The Words You Speak. I don’t know how to adequately describe these songs but, imagine if you will, the 9 year old version of myself wearing white roller skates with green wheels skating to this tape in the boom box as loud as it would go in the front yard with ALL MY HEART and feeling deep down in my toes how important it was to never tell a lie because you DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU WILL END UP except it will BE IN H E DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS. Some of these songs inspired crying spells where I was filled with so much emotion I couldn’t speak. Because some kids laughed at some other kids. WAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Anyway, I watched Leta do some excellent dancing and I sang along to all the songs which I discovered I still know by heart. Maybe next time she’ll let me dance with her.

Another trip highlight was the coffee. Jon and Heather have the best coffee machine in the whole world. It comes with its own attachments that foam the milk, shovel the drive and create world peace. I can tell you what’s high on my Christmas list.

But the best parts of the entire trip were the conversations. They were many and varied and long and sometimes deep and it was very satisfying to get to talk and talk and talk and listen and listen and listen. I miss that. We need some friends that live closer than Northern Utah.

After we got done gorging ourselves on turkey and stuffing and pie, we got out the supplies to make gingerbread houses. We used to do this every year but have slacked off the past few years. But this year – back on task.

As I pulled out bag after bag of candy, none of which anyone wanted to eat because they were so full (it’s part of the plan, yo) the kids got around the table and grabbed a ziplock of icing. We found out that we were missing one of the walls for the houses and we were 2 gingerbread men short. Most of the candy was too heavy for the icing and I thought – this is awesome.

Never, in any of the years we’ve done this, have the houses ever worked. They just don’t. The icing is either too soft or too hard and the house parts are too heavy or too brittle and the graham crackers that I buy to have just in case are broken. I mean, if the point was to actually make gingerbread houses, the entire thing would be a bust. But that is never the point.

Alex did hers on the tinfoil.

Devon made a huge glob of marshmallows.

Lacey made lovely designs.

Tony did mostly all his candy on the inside.

Tyler made some kind of bench out of gumdrops.

And Alison and Tony made a Holy Moly roller church –

that sacrificed gummy bears.

All in all, a great success. Complete set here.

Last week I went to Santa Barbara and had lunch with Eden. And why not, right? I mean, if you had the option of having lunch with Eden, you would, right? She’s funny and pretty and smells nice. She knows the best places to eat fish tacos. She wears cute shoes. Cookie licks her. In fact, if you don’t want to have lunch with Eden, I’d venture to say there is something wrong with you.

I wish I could say I JUST went there to have lunch with Eden, but in fact, I went because somewhere along the line I turned into a confused, tear-leaking mass that can’t find the right freeway exit or right turn after getting whittled away to nothing by a mean man. I turned into the lady that drives along in her car, weeping under her sunglasses and wiping snot on her sleeve because the box of tissues shot along the van floor and went behind the back seat when she made that last wrong turn. I’m the lady you feel sorry for when you glance over at the light and mistakenly think she’s singing along to music you can’t hear until you notice the quivering lower lip.

I’ve spent the better part of 2 months trying to find the right place to get Tshirts made with the Flawed But Authentic logo on them. I’ve talked to so many screen printers that I could catalog them at this point and tell you which ones made me cry and which ones just laughed in my face. Because I only want to make about 25 shirts. And that is unheard of, people. UNHEARD of. You don’t even start talking Tshirts unless you want 100 minimum order and it is beneath them to even talk to you. Or they will just charge you an arm and a leg per shirt. And who wants to spend $36 on a Tshirt? Not me. Not you, either.

So that brings us to the kind and great smelling Eden who took pity on me and drove me over to her personal screenprinter, Arosha, who did NOT laugh at me or make me cry and welcomed my tiny Tshirt order at a reasonable price. Yay for Arosha! And Yay! for Eden and thanks for holding my hand the entire time. Sorry about the palm sweat.

Please behold the selected choices.

You can have this extra long-bodied shirt by Kavio in a S, M, L or XL:

You can have this shirt by Hanes in a 1X, 2X or 3X:

They are both a basic black color and I have no idea why they look a little different.

And this is the logo:

And this is how we’re pretending that I’ve made one already and it looks like this:

See how great it accentuates the breasts?

How do you get one? Glad you asked. Click here for all sizes. I couldn’t get the sizes to work in the store so I’ll email you after I get your order to find out the size until I get that fixed. As soon as I have a minimum of 25 shirts, I’ll send the order in and then it takes about 2 weeks. Yay! for us!